


Contained

by traitorsinlove



Series: For The Love of Bellarke [16]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traitorsinlove/pseuds/traitorsinlove
Summary: This one-shot was requested by @the-princess-and-the-king on Tumblr in response to one of my headcanons. So, here ya go, girl! I hope that this is as good as you were hoping it would be! No beta, all mistakes are my own. Set the night before 4x06 begins.





	Contained

Bellamy turned over for the twentieth time on the narrow cot that served as his bed. He hadn’t slept well in nearly 4 months, but lately it seemed like his body wouldn’t shut off of high alert.

He let out a frustrated growl before throwing off the thin blanket covering his legs and sitting at the edge of the cot. He ran a hand through his dark curls, restlessness spreading throughout his body until his leg began to bounce of its own accord. He buried his face in his hands, unsure of what he should do.

He knew he wouldn’t be getting sleep anytime soon, so he stood and began pulling his clothes back on. A walk around the Ark didn’t sound like a bad idea; plus, it would give him time to calm down, clear his head, and check up on the guard detail.

There was one thing, or rather one _person_ , that had a particular weight in Bellamy’s mind tonight. Bellamy closed the heavy metal door as soon as that particular _thought_ crossed his mind.

He had fought with himself for so long on his feelings for her, but, in the end, his head had lost that battle.

How could he win? How could he deny feeling something more than friendship for the one person that had gone through so much with him? They had made so many tough calls together—it was a burden they shared as leaders.

Bellamy was suddenly reminded of the words he told Clarke, all those months ago…

_It’s not easy being in charge, is it?_

But how could he tell her, the one person who had never given up her faith in him, how much he truly—did he dare say it—loved, her?

Bellamy could stir up a crowd, that much was obvious. Bellamy realized that their first week on the ground.

But confessing his feelings for Clarke _to her_? That was a different situation entirely. He may have been led by his heart—act first, think later—but the truth was, he wasn’t sure how to proceed when it came to this particular subject. And yes, his brain nagged him about this subject quite often—more often than Bellamy would care to admit.

Sighing, Bellamy rounded the corner and directed his loud footfalls to the main door of the Ark, feeling a need for some fresh night air.

As Bellamy made his way across the grounds of Arkadia towards the main gate, he looked up at the dark blue sky, a blanket of stars enveloping the Earth. Bellamy stopped as he simply stared into the depths of space. He felt his eyes fall closed and almost felt at peace in that moment. There was no more symphony of crickets, just the brisk night air gently billowing around Bellamy’s frame. The twinkling stars shone down, illuminating the Earth around him in a ghostly white glow.

Bellamy didn’t take the opportunity to enjoy the Earth very much anymore, and there was a part of him that wished he had. But watching out for and protecting the crazy kids hadn’t left much room for sightseeing. Both he and Clarke had given up so much… and now the world was ending.

Clarke would love to see the sky tonight. She deserved to have just one night where she wasn’t carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders—they both did.

Bellamy’s eyes flew open at that thought, and he pushed it down into the smallest corner of his brain.

What was wrong with him? Well, he knew what was wrong with him, but he didn’t have a clue what to do about it.

Bellamy continued in his march towards the main gate and stopped beside Nate.

“How’s it looking?” He asked, his voice rough from exhaustion.

Nate nodded. “Nothing out of the ordinary. All clear, here.”

Bellamy nodded in reply, his eye scanning the distant tree line.

Nate studied him for a silent minute before speaking again. “How much sleep have you gotten in the last 24 hours?”

Bellamy chuckled lowly in reply.

Nate’s eyebrows rose, a smirk tugging at his mouth.

“Maybe you should try to get some sleep instead of worrying about everyone else’s safety,” Nate murmured. “For once.” He added as an afterthought.

Bellamy sighed. “Yeah, that’s a nice thought, huh?”

Nate’s smirk grew and he shoved Bellamy’s arm jokingly.

“Seriously, man. Go get some shut eye. Dawn’ll be here before you know it.” Nate gently shoved Bellamy back in the direction of the looming structure.

“Alright, alright.” Bellamy raised his hands in surrender. “But you radio me if something comes up, clear?”

Nate shook his head. “Yeah, alright.”

“Alright.” Bellamy waved in farewell and turned back the way he had come.

Bellamy took one last look at the expanse of sky before entering the Ark once again.

As soon as his heavy footfalls resounded in the metal corridor, Bellamy’s brain began the train of thought that he had been attempting to ignore all night.

He knew how he felt. But what about Clarke? She had loved Lexa; she had admitted that out loud while he stood mere feet away from him. Bellamy feared it was too soon for him to brave this conversation with Clarke.

But the world was ending. That fact put some newfound persistence behind Bellamy’s hasty decision.

He had to do this. If he didn’t do it now, he knew he probably never would.

Bellamy stalked past his door and down the corridor until the door to Clarke’s room was before him.

Bellamy didn’t know how he was going to start this conversation or what he was even going to say, but he just knew he needed to _talk to her_.

Bellamy raised his fist to knock on the cold metal surface. His knuckles were a mere centimeter from making contact with the door when he heard a moan. And then another.

Not moans of pain, he was extremely familiar with those. This was a moan of _pleasure_. Coming from Clarke’s room.

Bellamy’s breath froze in his lungs as those cries rang through his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut, his chest burning with an uncontainable pressure.

He stumbled back away from the door slowly, berating himself for being such an idiot.

He felt the familiar burning behind his closed eyelids, and quickly swiped his hand across his face. Bellamy’s eyes fell upon the unfeeling surface of the door before him, his gut coiling in uncomfortable knots and the weight of lead filling it simultaneously.

Bellamy released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and turned slowly towards his room.

He couldn’t tell Clarke now. Not when she had Niylah. If that was how she healed, who was he to stop her? He just wanted her to be happy, whether that meant until the Death Wave arrived or for the duration of a long life.

Bellamy Blake wasn’t about to stand in the way of Clarke Griffin’s happiness, even though he wished that her happiness rested with him, because… he loved her.

But she didn’t need to know that now.

Bellamy took the first step down the corridor, which felt ten degrees colder than before, and followed his steps back to his own room.

Eventually, he did fall asleep. His dreams were filed with blonde curls, soft skin, and pleasured moans filling his ears as she breathed his name.

Bellamy awoke the next morning, a new weight of sorrow on his chest. He sniffed and clenched his jaw decidedly before dressing and making his way out of his room.

He had kept his feelings to himself for this long. The Death Wave would be here before they knew it. Bellamy could keep his feelings to himself until the end of the world—if that’s what it meant for Clarke to have happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Kill me, please. OUCH. I wasn’t expecting this story to have this sad of an ending. I mean, I just killed myself in the feels, guys. Let me know what ya’ll think! Thanks for reading!


End file.
